What is a Mogwai? And Why Should I Care?

by Toni Oregano

Pop Star, Mogwai Rescue Owner, and Visionary Talent Behind the Billboard 100 Smash Dance Hit, "Hey Dickie"

I became aware of the Mogwai while filing the MTV reality show , "Get Me Off This Fucking Island, Or At Least Let Me Call My Agent," filmed on Snake Island (Ilha da Queimada Grande) in Brazil. The show was hosted by Carson Daly, until he was replaced by Milli Vanilli after falling into a nest of flesh eating ants.

Initially, I was charmed by their small size. A baby Mogwai can easily fit in the palm of your hand, and exhibits a calm, loving nature.

Usually. Unless certain conditions occur, in which case they are hunted and killed by the local population, And that's where we all come in.

How do we help the Mogwai?

If we all do our part, we can help these creatures lead the lives they deserve

Eating after midnight

While all living creatures thrive on food and water, Mogwai canot eat after midnight, nor get wet. Either of these scenarios result in the Mogwai quickly growing to a height of 15 feet, and terrorizing the local population.

Sun exposure

Sun: Giver of vitamin D, influencer of Circadian Rhythm, and booster of serotonin. For some. But for the Mogwai, a few minutes of sun exposure result in their quickly growing to a height of 15 feet, and terrorizing the local population.

Hair dryers

We may see modern hair dryers as the zenith of modern convenience, but just using a simple Conair in the presence of a Mogwai results in their quickly growing to a height of 15 feet, and terrorizing the local population.

Volume

As the musician behind the smash hit "Hey Dickie," I know the dangers of high decibels. While we can use noise canceling technology, the Mogwai cannot be exposed to anything louder than a whisper without quickly growing to a height of 15 feet, and terrorizing the local population.

How Can We Help?

Toni Oregano's Last Chance for Mogwai is a personal project dedicated to finding homes for displaced Mogwai. While this is a challenge as we are based in Sunny California, it is not without its benefits. Foster families are given 100% blackout window treatments, weekly vouchers for a free blowout, and vocal coaching to keep their communications in a safe whisper zone.

Additionally, you and your family will have the satisfaction of knowing that your compassion and willingness to sacrifice creature comforts will save the local population from being terrorized by 15 foot creatures.

Let's save the Mogwai

We can do this! And if we just keep our hair wet, don't eat late, stay extremely quiet and live in complete darkness, the Mogwai make wonderful, loving pets.

"Toni Oregano's Last Chance for Mogwai has changed our lives, and made the house so much quieter. And also a lot Darker."

Tia Mowry

"Since my head is always wet, I've had a cold for about 6 months. But just seeing the local population not be terrorized by 15 foot creatures makes it all kind of worthwhile ."

Tiffany

"I thought this would be a lot harder, but I don't actually go anywhere or look out the window or bathe much, so it was a surprisingly small adjustment."

Dave Coulier